What are some clean, one-liner jokes?

"Escalators donï¾’t break down, they just turn into stairs;" I intend to live forever, or die trying;" and "A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory" are all clean one-liner jokes. These jokes are typically suitable for day-to-day conversation with friends or family.

Other clean one-liner jokes include: "Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation toward the local swimming pool. So I gave him a glass of water;" "The only time incorrectly isnﾒt spelled incorrectly is when itﾒs spelled incorrectly;" "I used to be in a band, we were called ﾑlost dog.' You probably saw our posters around;" "'Iﾒm sorry' and 'I apologize' mean the same thing, except when youﾒre at a funeral;" and "Sleep is my drug, my bed is my dealer and my alarm clock is the police."

A string of clever, clean one-liners that can be used in immediate succession is: "Want to hear a pizza joke. Nah, itï¾’s too cheesy. What about a construction joke? Oh never mind, Iï¾’m still working on that one. Did you hear the one about the rope? Skip it. Have you heard the one about the guy in the wheelchair? Never mind, itï¾’s too lame."