What are some funny retirement humor quotes?

Some funny retirement humor quotes include one, by Abe Lemons, who said "The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off." Charles Baxter said of retirement, "Gainfully unemployed, very proud of it, too."

Two funny quotes about men retiring include one by Ella Harris that states: "A retired husband is often a wife's full-time job." Chi Chi Rodriguez said: "When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income." Terri Guillemets said, "The money's no better in retirement but the hours are!" Another one by an unknown source is "I'm now as free as the breeze — with roughly the same income."